Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize