Barsexuality is the new black.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
