Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
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