It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
You're like the curious george of whores
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
