im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
she looked like the before picture.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
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i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
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Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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