i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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