This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
