the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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