I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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