I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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