You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
