If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
