I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
