omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
