Pappa wants mamma naked
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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