it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
