just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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