i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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