I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
