my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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