...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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