I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
In other news, I just burned my penis
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
