Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
