my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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