For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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