He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
