At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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