My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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