oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
