I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
