I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
