He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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