I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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