And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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