Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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