i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
