i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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