I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
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