I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
