If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
