Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
