i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
