Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
