sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
