the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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