bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
