sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
