Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
