You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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