I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
