what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
worst night to have a conscience
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
