I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
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