I think scott just propositioned me for sex
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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