May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
