When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
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