She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
