Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I booty called her while she was in labor.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
