Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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