I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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