i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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